<\/p>\r\n
<\/iframe><\/p>\r\n<h4 class=\"has-text-align-right\">YASEM\u0130N TATLISEVEN<\/h4>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0G\u00fcnlerdir haz\u0131rlan\u0131yoruz.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Valizler tamam,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>evraklar eh i\u015fte!<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Zor oldu ama oldu,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>onu da sonra anlat\u0131r\u0131m.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Biletler al\u0131nd\u0131.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Vedalar\u0131 hi\u00e7 sevmiyorum,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>ayr\u0131lmak zor olacak. \u0130\u015f yerindekilerle vedala\u015f\u0131rken \u00f6mr\u00fcmden \u00f6m\u00fcr gitti. Ailem ve arkada\u015flar\u0131mdan nas\u0131l ayr\u0131laca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>G\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc olmak zorunday\u0131m.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>On \u00fc\u00e7 ya\u015f\u0131ndaki o\u011fluma ve on bir ya\u015f\u0131ndaki<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>k\u0131z\u0131ma \u00f6rnek olmal\u0131y\u0131m.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>U\u00e7u\u015ftan iki gece \u00f6nce,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>baba oca\u011f\u0131ndaki son gecemizde bo\u011faz\u0131ma bir yumru oturdu .<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Anneci\u011fim,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>can\u0131m annem!<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Alzheimer hastas\u0131,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>nereye gitti\u011fimizi bazen unutan, bazen hat\u0131rlayan anac\u0131\u011f\u0131m. O gece elinde s\u0131ms\u0131k\u0131 tuttu\u011fu katlanm\u0131\u015f mendili tela\u015fla a\u00e7arak, bana ve \u00e7ocuklara para verdi. Olmaz annem dediysem de \u201cLaz\u0131m olur k\u0131z\u0131m, yan\u0131n\u0131zda dursun\u201d dedi. Ah benim \u00e7ileke\u015f anam! Sabah sar\u0131l\u0131p son kez \u00f6perken, sanki bilinci yine kapanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Bilerek mi yap\u0131yordu acaba ac\u0131lar\u0131 anlams\u0131zla\u015ft\u0131rmay\u0131?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Ah anac\u0131\u011f\u0131m! <span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Beni tekrar hat\u0131rlay\u0131p \u201cK\u0131z\u0131m nerede\u201d diye sorar m\u0131s\u0131n ki?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>Ya babam?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Bizi otob\u00fcse yolcu ederken, yol boyundaki t\u00fcm atmlerden,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>emekli maa\u015f\u0131 yatm\u0131\u015f m\u0131 diye kontrol eden babac\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u2026 Sonunda g\u00f6zleri g\u00fclerek yan\u0131m\u0131za gelip,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>cebimize para s\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131ran<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cGerek yok babac\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u201d dedi\u011fimde \u201cYatm\u0131\u015f k\u0131z\u0131m maa\u015f\u0131m, laz\u0131m olur size\u201d diyen fedakar babac\u0131\u011f\u0131m.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>Otob\u00fcsteyiz,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn de g\u00f6zleri dolu dolu\u2026 \u00c7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131n k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ya\u015flar\u0131na bu kadar ac\u0131 fazla de\u011fil mi? <span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Son kez \u015fehre bak\u0131yoruz. Bir daha ne zaman geliriz, kim bilir?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>\u015eehirle de vedala\u015ft\u0131ktan sonra otob\u00fcs otobana giriyor. Ba\u015f\u0131mda bir a\u011fr\u0131,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcmde bir s\u0131k\u0131\u015fma, nefes alam\u0131yor gibiyim. G\u00f6zlerimi kapay\u0131p uyumaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yorum. Zihnimde t\u00fcm sevdiklerimin y\u00fczleri ge\u00e7it t\u00f6reni yap\u0131yor .<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Ve u\u00e7u\u015f g\u00fcn\u00fc geliyor, havaliman\u0131nday\u0131z. Her birimizin elinde iki\u015fer tane valiz, birer s\u0131rt \u00e7antas\u0131\u2026 140 m2 evden kalanlar\u0131 ve k\u0131rk senelik \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fc, bu valizlere s\u0131\u011fd\u0131rmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131k .<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Kitaplar\u0131ma<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>\u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm kadar,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>koca bir evin e\u015fyas\u0131na \u00fcz\u00fclmedim. \u00c7ok da sar\u0131p sarmayalamadan,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>dam\u0131 akan bir odunlu\u011fa b\u0131rakt\u0131k kitaplar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131\u2026 Ya fareler kemirecek,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>ya da rutubetten, nemden hamur olacak, yaz\u0131lar\u0131 birbirine ge\u00e7ecek, ona \u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcyorum. G\u00f6t\u00fcrme imkan\u0131m\u0131z olsayd\u0131, tek bir tanesini bile b\u0131rakmaya k\u0131yamazd\u0131m.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Valizlere bak\u0131yorum. Ne s\u0131\u011fd\u0131rd\u0131k ki buncac\u0131k \u015feyin i\u00e7ine?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>K\u0131z\u0131m bir buzdolab\u0131 po\u015fetinin i\u00e7inde on-onbe\u015f tane mandal\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde, basm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 kahkahay\u0131\u2026 \u201cAnne sana inanam\u0131yorum, koca koca mobilyalar\u0131, tencereleri, tabaklar\u0131 atarken bir damla g\u00f6zya\u015f\u0131 d\u00f6kmedin de, \u015fu on tane mandala m\u0131 k\u0131yamad\u0131n? \u201d Hakl\u0131 \u00e7ocuk, ne akla hizmet onlar\u0131 valize s\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 bilmiyorum.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Gardrob\u0131, vitrinleri, komidinleri, masay\u0131, sandalyeleri, yorgan\u0131, yata\u011f\u0131,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>kab\u0131 kaca\u011f\u0131 hep \u00e7\u00f6pe indirdik. Evi biran \u00f6nce bo\u015faltma derdine, ne yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 bilmiyorum ki?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Mandallar da zaar ziyan olmas\u0131n dedim. Kafa m\u0131 kald\u0131? K\u0131\u015fl\u0131k kazaklar, botlar, montlar\u0131n hepsini sa\u011fa sola verdik. S\u0131cak yerlere gidiyoruz ya, laz\u0131m olmaz dedik.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Bagajlar\u0131 teslim ettik. Y\u00fcr\u00fcyen bantta gidiyor, \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fcn geri kalanlar\u0131!<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>\u0130\u00e7inde ne var deseniz, \u00fc\u00e7-be\u015f p\u0131l\u0131 p\u0131rt\u0131, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n madalyalar\u0131, diplomalar,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>an\u0131 olsun diye birka\u00e7 resim,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>bir de buzdolab\u0131 ma\u011fnetleri\u2026D\u00fcnya bir yana, ma\u011fnetlerim bir yana\u2026 Bug\u00fcne kadar gezdi\u011fimiz her yerden alm\u0131\u015f\u0131z birer, iki\u015fer, hayat\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n \u00f6zeti onlar…<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Olmazsa,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>olmazlar\u0131m!<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Manada a\u011f\u0131r, y\u00fckte hafifler.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Havaalan\u0131nday\u0131z, bacaklar\u0131m titriyor. Herkese korkarak bak\u0131yorum. Biri y\u00fcksek sesle ad\u0131m\u0131 hayk\u0131rsa, pat diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcp bay\u0131labilirim. \u0130ki yavrumun elinden tutmu\u015fum, m\u0131r m\u0131r bir \u015feyler okuyorum. A\u011fabeyim ve karde\u015fimle \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015fa uzak bir yerde vedala\u015ft\u0131k.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Bizi g\u00f6rebilecek farkl\u0131 noktalardan<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>izliyorlar.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>A\u011flamamam laz\u0131m, dikkat \u00e7ekmemeliyim.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Pasaport kontrol s\u0131ras\u0131na giriyoruz. G\u00f6zlerim karar\u0131yor.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Havaliman\u0131nday\u0131z,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>pasaport polisinin \u00f6n\u00fcndeki kuyrukta\u2026\u00c7\u0131k\u0131\u015fa bir metre kald\u0131,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>kalmad\u0131.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>S\u0131ra bize gelecek ve polis kabininin arkas\u0131na ge\u00e7ti\u011fimizde \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f say\u0131laca\u011f\u0131z. \u00c7akt\u0131rmadan geriye d\u00f6n\u00fcp bak\u0131yorum. Yengemin dudaklar\u0131 k\u0131p\u0131r k\u0131p\u0131r dua okuyor, k\u0131z karde\u015fimin g\u00f6z\u00fcnden ya\u015flar s\u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcyor. A\u011fabeyci\u011fim \u201cBiz buraday\u0131z, merak etme\u201d dercesine bak\u0131yor. \u00d6n\u00fcme d\u00f6n\u00fcyorum. S\u0131ra bizde, terledi\u011fimi hissediyorum. Y\u00fcz\u00fcm \u015fuan eminim ki k\u0131pk\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131d\u0131r . Ayak bileklerim bedenimi ta\u015f\u0131makta zorlan\u0131yor.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Havaalan\u0131nday\u0131z, d\u0131\u015f hatlarda\u2026 Pasaport kontrol kabininin \u00f6n\u00fcnde\u2026 Benim ve \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n pasaportlar\u0131n\u0131 uzat\u0131yorum. Polis bana bak\u0131yor, polis pasaporta bak\u0131yor. Ve ka\u015feyi bas\u0131p g\u00f6nderecek \u015fimdi, birazdan \u015fu cam kabinin arkas\u0131na ge\u00e7ece\u011fiz ve her \u015fey bitecek. Polis pasaporta bak\u0131yor, polis bana bak\u0131yor. \u00c7ok mu uzun s\u00fcrd\u00fc, bana m\u0131 \u00f6yle geliyor? Polis telefonun ahizesini kald\u0131r\u0131yor, kula\u011f\u0131na day\u0131yor, birilerini ar\u0131yor. Pasaportu kald\u0131r\u0131p bir \u015feyler s\u00f6yl\u00fcyor. Polis art\u0131k bana bakm\u0131yor. Art\u0131k polisin g\u00f6z\u00fcnde ben yokum, ben bir hi\u00e7 h\u00fckm\u00fcndeyim! Arkam\u0131zdaki kuyruktakiler, beklemekten s\u0131k\u0131l\u0131p s\u00f6ylenmeye ba\u015fl\u0131yor. G\u00f6revliler bekleyenlere \u201cDi\u011fer kuyruklara ge\u00e7in\u201d diye ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yor. Herkes bana ve \u00e7ocuklara kin dolu bak\u0131\u015flar f\u0131rlat\u0131yor. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131m korku dolu g\u00f6zlerle,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>elimden \u00e7eki\u015ftiriyorlar. Ben geri d\u00f6n\u00fcp a\u011fabeyimle g\u00f6zg\u00f6ze geliyorum,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cOlmad\u0131 a\u011fabeyci\u011fim\u201d diyorum. K\u0131z karde\u015fim tela\u015f i\u00e7inde… Yan\u0131m\u0131za ba\u015fka bir polis geliyor. Di\u011fer polis az\u0131l\u0131 bir su\u00e7lu yakalam\u0131\u015f edas\u0131yla, beni ve pasaportumu yeni gelen polise teslim ediyor. Polis \u201cBenimle gel\u201d diyor, \u00e7ocuklar arkamda a\u011flayarak kal\u0131yorlar.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Havaliman\u0131 sanki o anda ba\u015f\u0131ma y\u0131k\u0131l\u0131yor.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Nefesim daral\u0131yor.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Havaliman\u0131 karakolunday\u0131m. D\u00f6rt taraf\u0131nda kameralar olan k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir odaday\u0131m,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>sedirlerden birine oturdum. K\u00f6\u015fede bir tuvalet var. San\u0131r\u0131m g\u00f6zalt\u0131na al\u0131nd\u0131m. Kalbim p\u0131rp\u0131r ediyor. Ya tutuklan\u0131rsam diyorum. Ama ben bir \u015fey yapmad\u0131m ki\u2026 \u0130\u00e7erde olan ki\u015fileri hat\u0131rl\u0131yorum,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>onlarda bir \u015fey yapmam\u0131\u015flard\u0131. Bir saate yak\u0131n bekletiliyorum. Sorgulan\u0131p, bir \u015feyler imzalat\u0131ld\u0131ktan sonra, pasaportuma nedensiz el konularak,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>ben serbest b\u0131rak\u0131l\u0131yorum. <span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00d6nce ko\u015fup \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131 buluyorum. Onlara sar\u0131l\u0131yorum. Biletlerimizi bir ay sonraya erteliyorum, sanki bir ay sonra her \u015fey \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fclecekmi\u015f gibi\u2026 Gidip valizleri geri al\u0131yorum. Karde\u015flerimle birlikte \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015fa geliyoruz. Elimizde iki\u015fer tane valiz, birer s\u0131rt \u00e7antas\u0131,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>koskoca \u0130stanbul\u2019a bak\u0131yorum. Evimizi da\u011f\u0131tt\u0131m, art\u0131k bir yuvam\u0131z yok! \u0130\u015ften \u00e7\u0131t\u0131m,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>i\u015fsizim. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131n okulu kapand\u0131. E\u015fim yurtd\u0131\u015f\u0131nda, pasaportuma el kondu. \u0130stanbul\u2019u bir anda kara bulutlar kapl\u0131yor. Karanl\u0131k gelece\u011fimde hi\u00e7 bir\u015feyi g\u00f6remiyorum. Ba\u015f\u0131m a\u011fr\u0131dan \u00e7atl\u0131yor. \u0130stanbul o anda ba\u015f\u0131ma y\u0131k\u0131l\u0131yor.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>Geri d\u00f6nerken yol boyunca hi\u00e7 kimse konu\u015fmuyor. Karde\u015fime gidiyoruz. Tek iste\u011fim var. Uyumak, uyumak, uyumak!<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>G\u00fcnlerce, haftalarca uyumak istiyorum. Ama iki tane evlad\u0131m var benim, g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc olmak zorunday\u0131m.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Sabah toparlan\u0131p kalk\u0131yorum, karde\u015fim g\u00fczel bir kahvalt\u0131 haz\u0131rlam\u0131\u015f. \u00c7ocuklara bundan sonra yapacaklar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131, pembe bir masal anlat\u0131r gibi anlat\u0131yorum. San\u0131r\u0131m yeterince inand\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 olam\u0131yorum.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cPeki anne biz \u015fimdi nerede kalaca\u011f\u0131z, art\u0131k bir evimiz yok\u201d dediklerinde, kafama bir balyoz iniyor adeta!<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Hemen toparlan\u0131p \u201cDedenlerle ya\u015fayaca\u011f\u0131z yavrum\u201d diyorum,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cBenim do\u011fup,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm \u015fehre d\u00f6nece\u011fiz\u201d. Bunu s\u00f6ylerken dudaklar\u0131ma bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme yerle\u015ftiriyorum. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131m cin gibiler, g\u00f6zlerimin g\u00fclmedi\u011finin fark\u0131ndalar! Karde\u015fim de fark\u0131nda,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>\u201cHaydi abla, bug\u00fcn \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p kafam\u0131za g\u00f6re \u0130stanbul\u2019u gezelim\u201d diyor. \u0130stanbul normalde olsa reddedilir mi?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Ama can\u0131m bir \u015fey yapmak istemiyor. \u0130mkan\u0131m olsa nefes bile almayaca\u011f\u0131m. <span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Bo\u015fta duram\u0131yorum, kafam\u0131 da\u011f\u0131tmam laz\u0131m. Karde\u015fimin t\u00fcm itirazlar\u0131na ra\u011fmen,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>evindeki t\u00fcm hal\u0131lar\u0131 toplay\u0131p, y\u0131k\u0131yorum. \u0130stanbul\u2019da birka\u00e7 g\u00fcn kal\u0131p, bir daha tekrar ne zaman g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u00fcz ki dedi\u011fimiz \u015fehre, bir hafta sonra tekrar gidiyoruz. Can\u0131m babac\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n kap\u0131lar\u0131 bize ard\u0131na kadar a\u00e7\u0131k\u2026<\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Anac\u0131\u011f\u0131m olanlar\u0131n fark\u0131nda de\u011fil, bizi g\u00f6r\u00fcnce \u00f6nce seviniyor. (\u0130lerleyen g\u00fcnlerde hastal\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n etkisiyle bizi evden kovacak!) Babac\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u00fczg\u00fcn, benim feri s\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f g\u00f6zlerimi g\u00f6r\u00fcnce, teselli edecek c\u00fcmle kuram\u0131yor. Ertesi g\u00fcn babam\u0131n t\u00fcm itirazlar\u0131na ra\u011fmen evdeki b\u00fct\u00fcn hal\u0131lar\u0131 toplay\u0131p y\u0131k\u0131yorum. Tam bir delilik hali\u2026San\u0131r\u0131m b\u00fct\u00fcn h\u0131rs\u0131m\u0131 hal\u0131lardan \u00e7\u0131kart\u0131yorum. Belki de bu bir rahatlama \u015fekli\u2026 Kimseye s\u00f6yleyemediklerimi, ba\u011f\u0131ra \u00e7a\u011f\u0131ra sal\u0131yorum akan kirli sularla birlikte!<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Bir ay sonra hi\u00e7bir \u015fey de\u011fi\u015fmiyor, iki ay sonra da\u2026 K\u0131\u015f geliyor. K\u0131\u015fl\u0131k her \u015feyimizi da\u011f\u0131tm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. \u00d6nce birer e\u015fofman al\u0131yorum. Sonra birer kazak, fazla \u015feye gerek yok, nas\u0131lsa gidece\u011fiz. Gidemiyoruz, her ay bir \u015feyler al\u0131yoruz. Okullar a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131yor. \u0130kametgah sorunumuz var. N\u00fcfus m\u00fcd\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc, babas\u0131ndan izin ka\u011f\u0131d\u0131 olmadan, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n ikametini de\u011fi\u015ftiremeyece\u011fini s\u00f6yl\u00fcyor. Okullar ikamet olmadan kay\u0131t yapamayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131\u2026 K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck sorun da\u011f oluyor, kimse yard\u0131mc\u0131 olmuyor. Ne de olsa biz toplumda yok h\u00fckm\u00fcndeyiz. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131 o sene okula g\u00f6nderemiyorum.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Bir sene ge\u00e7iyor, bir \u015feyler d\u00fczelece\u011fine, her \u015fey daha da k\u00f6t\u00fcye gidiyor. Bir sene i\u00e7inde defelarca karakola, emniyet m\u00fcd\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne, valili\u011fe gidiyorum. Bir tek dedekt\u00f6rden ge\u00e7erken ve \u00fcst aramas\u0131 yap\u0131l\u0131rken varl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 fark ediyorlar. Hangi memurun \u00f6n\u00fcne gitsem yok h\u00fckm\u00fcndeyim.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>\u00c7o\u011fu zaman<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>pasaportunun ak\u0131betini \u00f6\u011frenmek i\u00e7in bekleyen \u00fc\u00e7-be\u015f ki\u015fi bir kenarda saatlerce bekletiliyoruz. Hepimizin g\u00f6z\u00fcnde korku dolu bak\u0131\u015flar! Birbirimizle konu\u015fmaya bile \u00e7ekiniyoruz. Kimse bize bilgi verme zorunlulu\u011fu ta\u015f\u0131m\u0131yormu\u015f! M\u00fcracat edebilecek hi\u00e7bir kurum yok, bizi dikkate alan hi\u00e7bir kurulu\u015f yok! Emniyete giderken yan\u0131ma sadece kimlik al\u0131yorum, olurda girerde \u00e7\u0131kamazsam endi\u015fesiyle\u2026 Ve hi\u00e7bir sonu\u00e7 alamadan, \u00fcmitlerim tekrar tekrar tuzla buz olarak geri d\u00f6n\u00fcyorum.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Bir sene sonra tekrar havaalan\u0131nday\u0131z. O\u011flumun ve k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n elinde iki\u015fer tane valiz, bende sadece kol \u00e7antas\u0131 var. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc onlar gidiyorlar,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>ben kal\u0131yorum. Evlatlar\u0131m\u0131n istikbali i\u00e7in, onlar\u0131 babas\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131na g\u00f6ndermeyi deneyece\u011fim. Tabii<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>yine durdurulmazsak\u2026 \u00c7ocuklar\u0131ma son kez sar\u0131l\u0131yorum. O cennet kokular\u0131n\u0131 son kez i\u00e7ime \u00e7ekiyorum.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>G\u00fcl yanaklar\u0131ndan son kez \u00f6p\u00fcyorum. A\u011flamamal\u0131y\u0131z, dikkat \u00e7ekmemeliyiz. G\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc olmak zorunday\u0131z.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Polis kontrol noktas\u0131nda,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>onlar\u0131 uzaktan g\u00f6rebilecek bir yerden izliyorum. S\u0131ra onlara geliyor, pasaportlar\u0131n\u0131 veriyorlar ve ge\u00e7iyorlar. Sevin\u00e7ten \u00e7\u0131ld\u0131rmak \u00fczereyiz, ama ne onlar,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>ne ben belli etmemeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yoruz. <span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Son x-ray cihaz\u0131ndan ge\u00e7ip el sallayarak uzakla\u015ft\u0131klar\u0131nda, onlar\u0131 son kez g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fc bilmek, \u00fczerime kabus gibi \u00e7\u00f6k\u00fcveriyor, nefes alam\u0131yorum. Son bir gayretle g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131p el sallarken,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>g\u00f6r\u00fcnmeyen bir a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131k, iman tahtama gelip oturuyor, nefes alam\u0131yorum. G\u00f6zden kaybolduklar\u0131nda havada kalan elimi yava\u015f\u00e7a yere indiriyorum. Onlara bir daha dokunamayacak, s\u0131ms\u0131k\u0131 sar\u0131lamayacak ve koklayamayacak olman\u0131n d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesiyle, bo\u011faz\u0131m\u0131 bir \u00e7ift el s\u0131k\u0131yor, nefes alam\u0131yorum. Birlikte \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z eve d\u00f6n\u00fcp, az \u00f6nce burada bir yerlerde olduklar\u0131n\u0131 bilmek, ama \u015fimdi arasam da bulamamak, uzanamamak, yeti\u015fememek kahrediyor. Yorgan\u0131 tepeme kadar \u00e7ekip, gecenin karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda sessizce ama h\u00f6yk\u00fcre h\u00f6yk\u00fcre a\u011flay\u0131p,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>nefes alam\u0131yorum. Yavrular\u0131m\u0131n olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir g\u00fcne,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>a\u011flamaktan \u015fi\u015fmi\u015f g\u00f6zlerim uyanmak istemiyor. Uyand\u0131k\u00e7a g\u00f6zlerimi tekrar tekrar kapat\u0131p uyumaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmaktan nefes alam\u0131yorum. O g\u00fcn ge\u00e7mek bilmiyor, her saniye bir as\u0131r oluyor. \u0130\u00e7imde k\u0131yametler koparken, ipil ipil d\u00f6k\u00fcyorum g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131m\u0131, bo\u011fulur gibi havas\u0131z kal\u0131p, nefes alam\u0131yorum. Karanl\u0131k \u00e7\u00f6kerken ruhum daral\u0131yor, gece \u00fcst\u00fcme \u00fcst\u00fcme geliyor, g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131m bluzumu s\u0131r\u0131ls\u0131klam yap\u0131yor, burnum t\u0131kan\u0131yor, nefes alam\u0131yorum. Do\u011fum sanc\u0131lar\u0131m tuttu\u011funda b\u00f6yle olmu\u015ftum ben, nefesimi \u00e7eviremiyordum, \u00f6lece\u011fim sanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Kuca\u011f\u0131ma verdikleri can par\u00e7alar\u0131mla ci\u011ferlerim rahatlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Mis kokular\u0131n\u0131 ci\u011ferlerime kadar \u00e7ekmi\u015ftim, nefes olmu\u015ftular bana \u2026 Mis kokular\u0131 burnumun dire\u011fini s\u0131zlat\u0131rken \u015fimdi, ben evlatlar\u0131m olmadan nefes alam\u0131yorum. <span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Art\u0131k g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc olmak zorunda de\u011filim. Sadece uyumak<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>istiyorum.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Uyumak,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>uyumak, uyumak\u2026G\u00fcnlerce, haftalarca uyumak!<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><i>Not: Bu anne her sabah yavrular\u0131na kavu\u015fmak \u00fcmidiyle uyand\u0131. Ancak yirmi ay sonra,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>dolayl\u0131 yollardan, yanlar\u0131na gidebildi. \u015eimdi kanserle m\u00fccadele ediyor. <span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><i><span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>Alzheimer olan annesi,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcl\u00fc konu\u015fmalarda hala k\u0131z\u0131na ismiyle hitap ediyor.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Her\u015feyi unuttu, k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 unutmuyor!<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>YASEM\u0130N TATLISEVEN \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0G\u00fcnlerdir haz\u0131rlan\u0131yoruz.\u00a0 Valizler tamam,\u00a0 evraklar eh i\u015fte!\u00a0 Zor oldu ama oldu,\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":529,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v15.5 - 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