{"id":470,"date":"2019-11-23T02:53:59","date_gmt":"2019-11-23T02:53:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sesdergisi.ca\/?p=470"},"modified":"2020-02-02T00:03:19","modified_gmt":"2020-02-02T00:03:19","slug":"bugun-de-olmedim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sesdergisi.ca\/?p=470","title":{"rendered":"BUG\u00dcN DE \u00d6LMED\u0130M"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><\/p>\r\n<p><iframe title=\"BUG\u00dcN DE \u00d6LMED\u0130M\" width=\"640\" height=\"480\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/ojlXA9CeP6Y?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\r\n<h6 class=\"has-vivid-red-color has-text-color has-text-align-right\">S\u0130NE EL\u0130F:<\/h6>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Bug\u00fcn yine \u00f6lmek istedim. Ve bence herkes \u00f6lmeliydi bug\u00fcn. Yarat\u0131c\u0131 bir son vermeliydi, diye ge\u00e7irirsem i\u00e7imden ve can\u0131m\u0131 o an alsa ne olurdu acaba? Annem duysa \u00e7ok \u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcr b\u00f6yle konu\u015ftu\u011fuma. Hi\u00e7 \u00f6yle denir mi, \u015firk ko\u015fma Allah\u2019a derdi, kesin derdi bunu dua ede ede y\u00fcz\u00fcme. Oysa o belki duymad\u0131 bile ama bir bebek \u00f6ld\u00fc daha ge\u00e7en g\u00fcn. Daha \u00f6nce de \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. 3 ya\u015f\u0131nda ba\u015fka bir \u00e7ocuk da. Ya\u015f\u0131n\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 alm\u0131\u015f bir adam. Yeni evli bir adam. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 olan bir \u00e7ift. Ve benim de bilmedi\u011fim ama mavi sulardan mavi g\u00f6\u011fe kanat \u00e7\u0131rpan ne ruhlar oldu kim bilir, say\u0131s\u0131 benim ya\u015f\u0131mdan \u00e7ok.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Milletlerinin ad\u0131n\u0131 bile bilmedi\u011fim, dininin bana yabanc\u0131 oldu\u011fu ne \u00e7ok insan. \u00d6ld\u00fc onlar orada, ben burada ya\u015farken. Ya\u015fatam\u0131yorken benden ba\u015fkas\u0131n\u0131. Oysa ilk kitap hediye edenimin kitap kapa\u011f\u0131na yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 hep kalbimde, ya\u015fama ve ya\u015fatma idealiyle. \u0130\u015fte o sebeptendir ki bug\u00fcn ben ve b\u00fct\u00fcn insanl\u0131k \u00f6lmeliydi. Kalbi duruvermeliydi d\u00fcnyan\u0131n. Ve Allah\u2019\u0131m, Sen de biliyorsun ki, insan \u00e7ok zalim ve fesat \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131c\u0131.<\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Akl\u0131ma ne geliyor mesela, belki o bebek, doktorum olacakt\u0131 benim. Y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00e7izgileri hep m\u00fctebessime ayarl\u0131, gel anneci\u011fim otur neyin var diyecekti, kim bilir? Belki ge\u00e7en y\u0131l \u00f6len kad\u0131n hani devrilmeseydi botlar\u0131 kom\u015fum olacakt\u0131. On y\u0131ld\u0131r hasret kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir ses olacak ve kap\u0131y\u0131 usulca t\u0131klat\u0131p a\u015fure getirdim diyecekti. K\u0131z\u0131mla arkada\u015f olacakt\u0131 belki kuca\u011f\u0131na s\u0131k\u0131ca sard\u0131\u011f\u0131 yavrusu. Anne, art\u0131k T\u00fcrk\u00e7e konu\u015fan birileri var evimizde diye sevinecekti yavrum. Ben bu ak\u015fam biraz tak\u0131laca\u011f\u0131m diyecekti e\u015fim, kocas\u0131yla birer \u00e7ay i\u00e7ecekti. \u00d6\u011frencilik y\u0131llar\u0131ndan dem vurup sucuk \u00e7\u0131k\u0131nca nas\u0131l yumulduklar\u0131ndan bahsedeceklerdi. Bir hayat\u0131n can\u0131na sebep olunca neler de<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>\u00e7al\u0131n\u0131yor hat\u0131ralar\u0131m\u0131z de\u011fi\u015fiyor, h\u00fclyalar\u0131m\u0131z da\u011f\u0131l\u0131yor. H\u0131rs\u0131z sadece para \u00e7alar diye kim s\u00f6ylemi\u015f? Yalan. H\u0131rs\u0131z bir hayat \u00e7al\u0131nca b\u00fct\u00fcn insanl\u0131k \u00e7al\u0131n\u0131yor.<\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Bug\u00fcn yine \u00f6lmek istedim. Daha \u00e7ok \u00f6lmek istedim asl\u0131nda. Geride b\u0131rakacaklar\u0131m \u00fcz\u00fclecekler biliyorum. Ama insan neye al\u0131\u015fm\u0131yor s\u00f6yleyin? Eksi\u011finin yerini doldurmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yor insan, k\u0131z\u0131yor, susuyor, k\u00fcs\u00fcyor derken yamas\u0131n\u0131 bulup ili\u015ftiriyor i\u015fte yakas\u0131na. \u00d6yle omzunun az\u0131c\u0131k alt\u0131nda, kalbinin biraz \u00fczerinde. Dokunmas\u0131 yasak bir an\u0131 gibi, dokunmasa unutacak bir yara gibi. Al\u0131\u015fmak, hem nimet hem nikmet gibi.<\/p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Bug\u00fcn, her g\u00fcnden daha \u00e7ok \u00f6lmek istedim. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00e7ok ac\u0131 var Allah\u2019\u0131m. Ne b\u00fcy\u00fck ac\u0131lar. Ben k\u0131yamet kopsun deyince k\u0131z\u0131yorlar Allah\u2019\u0131m. Ancak biliyorum ki Sen, beni anlars\u0131n. \u0130nsan, ne acelecidir , de\u011fil mi Allah\u2019\u0131m? Her \u015fey hemen olsun, bitsin ister. Sonunu, ard\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnemez, bilemez. Problemleri yaratan Sen, sebeplere b\u00fcr\u00fcyen Sen ve olduran Sen, \u00e7\u00f6zen Sen. Beni bu hayata ve tabi ki Sana ba\u011flayan tek bir \u015fey var Allah\u2019\u0131m. Bana vaadetti\u011fin ve kitab\u0131nda s\u00f6yledi\u011fin, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n bir oyun ve oyalanmadan ibaret oldu\u011fu ger\u00e7e\u011fi. \u0130\u015fte ben, oyunun bitmesini, i\u00e7li i\u00e7li bekleyece\u011fim. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc Seni ve benden \u00f6nce atlar\u0131na binip giden iyi insanlar\u0131 \u00e7ok \u00f6zledim. Ayn\u0131 oyunda oynamad\u0131kalrm\u0131zla, sonsuz hayat\u0131n bah\u00e7elerinde bulu\u015fmay\u0131 diliyorum, hasretle.<\/p>\r\n<p><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>S\u0130NE EL\u0130F: Bug\u00fcn yine \u00f6lmek istedim. Ve bence herkes \u00f6lmeliydi bug\u00fcn. Yarat\u0131c\u0131 bir son vermeliydi, diye ge\u00e7irirsem i\u00e7imden<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":471,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[26,23,91],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v15.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>BUG\u00dcN DE \u00d6LMED\u0130M - SES MAGAZINE<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.sesdergisi.ca\/?p=470\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"BUG\u00dcN DE \u00d6LMED\u0130M\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"S\u0130NE EL\u0130F: Bug\u00fcn yine \u00f6lmek istedim. Ve bence herkes \u00f6lmeliydi bug\u00fcn. 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