{"id":1929,"date":"2021-06-27T23:56:53","date_gmt":"2021-06-27T23:56:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sesdergisi.ca\/?p=1929"},"modified":"2021-06-27T23:56:53","modified_gmt":"2021-06-27T23:56:53","slug":"yuzumdeki-tebessum","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sesdergisi.ca\/?p=1929","title":{"rendered":"Y\u00fcz\u00fcmdeki Tebess\u00fcm \u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"

FOZ\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

Bazen y\u00fcz\u00fcmde k\u0131s\u0131k bir g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f yakalar\u0131m.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Yanaklar\u0131m k\u0131zar\u0131r,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Di\u015flerim hafif\u00e7e ortaya \u00e7\u0131kar,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sa\u00e7\u0131m \u00e7oktan parmaklar\u0131m\u0131n aras\u0131nda dola\u015fmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r bile.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Uzun s\u00fcredir ayn\u0131 \u00e7izgilere al\u0131\u015fan y\u00fcz kaslar\u0131m da fark eder bu tebess\u00fcm\u00fc.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Kalbim daha h\u0131zl\u0131 atmaya ba\u015flar,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00c7evremde bunu g\u00f6ren var m\u0131 diye kafam\u0131 kald\u0131r\u0131r bakar\u0131m.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Kimsenin bir\u015feyle ilgilendi\u011fi de yoktur asl\u0131nda.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Bug\u00fcn ba\u015fka bir g\u00fcn,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tebess\u00fcm var yana\u011f\u0131mda.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

G\u00f6zlerimdeki \u0131\u015f\u0131k p\u0131r\u0131l p\u0131r\u0131l,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sa\u00e7lar\u0131m daha parlak art\u0131k.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ya kalbim, ne kadar \u00f6zlemi\u015f,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Kendini b\u00f6yle \u015f\u0131martan bu durumu.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hep ciddi ve \u00f6nemli i\u015flerin stres ve kayg\u0131s\u0131ndan,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Kendi asli vazifesini yapamaz olmu\u015f.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Belkide sevmek ve sevilmek i\u00e7in cesaretini \u00e7oktan kaybetmi\u015f.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Peki zihnim ne der bu hale?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Harfler, rakamlar, toplant\u0131lar<\/p>\n

Yollar, hemde uzayan yollar.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sonunda ba\u015far\u0131n\u0131n, kazanc\u0131n oldu\u011fu kocaman hedefler.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Unutmu\u015f \u00e7ok zamand\u0131r ne\u015fe ve mutluluk belirtisi k\u0131p\u0131rt\u0131lar\u0131.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Beynim tebess\u00fcmle gelen hormonla<\/p>\n

Kayg\u0131lardan ar\u0131n\u0131r, gev\u015fer bir anda.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Yollar ve \u00fczerindeki insanlar\u0131 g\u00f6rmeye ba\u015flar\u0131m.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sar\u0131 laleleri,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Denizi ve dalgalar\u0131n\u0131,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

R\u00fczg\u00e2r\u0131 ve kokusunu,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u0130\u00e7ti\u011fim suyu,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00c7alan \u015fark\u0131lar\u0131 duymaya ba\u015flar\u0131m,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hatta i\u00e7indeki m\u00fczik aletleri belirir g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn \u00f6n\u00fcnde.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Keman, gitar, saksafon ve di\u011ferleri.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

O an bir utan\u00e7 sarar bedenimi,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Titrerim, kalbim de titrer, sa\u00e7lar\u0131m da<\/p>\n

Korkmaya ba\u015flar\u0131m,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ya y\u00fcz\u00fcmdeki bu tebess\u00fcm kal\u0131c\u0131 olursa!<\/p>\n

Ve insanlar anlarsa,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Bundan sonra denizi ve mavisini<\/p>\n

G\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc ve bulutlar\u0131,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

U\u00e7an ku\u015flar\u0131 farkederek ya\u015farsam!<\/p>\n

Korkuyorum,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Eskisi gibi \u00e7al\u0131\u015famazsam,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Evime ekmek getiremezsem,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Okudu\u011fum kitaplar\u0131 anlayamazsam,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Toplant\u0131lar\u0131mda iyi sunumlar yapamazsam<\/p>\n

Hayat\u0131n ciddi konular\u0131 \u00fczerinde tart\u0131\u015fmalara kat\u0131lamazsam!..<\/p>\n

Korkuyorum,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tebess\u00fcmden uzak y\u00fczlere al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f insanlar,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ya art\u0131k beni eskisi gibi sevmez ve ciddiye almazsa!<\/p>\n

Geceleri y\u0131ld\u0131zlara bakarak uyursam,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ya daha \u00e7ok tebess\u00fcm edersem,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ya \u00fczerimdeki bu heyecan ve mutluluk hali beni hi\u00e7 terketmezse!<\/p>\n

Korkuyorum\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ne derim kendime?<\/p>\n

Ciddi g\u00fcnlerime,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hep ayn\u0131 ritimde atan kalbime,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Y\u00fcz\u00fcmde keskin bir duru\u015fa al\u0131\u015fan \u00e7izgilere.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

D\u00fcmd\u00fcz tarad\u0131\u011f\u0131m ve bug\u00fcne kadar hep omuzumda duran sa\u00e7lar\u0131ma…<\/p>\n

Korkuyorum,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Geriye giden dudaklar\u0131m ya al\u0131\u015f\u0131rsa tebess\u00fcme<\/p>\n

Kim getirdi kondurdu bu tebess\u00fcm\u00fc y\u00fcz\u00fcme?<\/p>\n

Dudaklar\u0131m, di\u015flerim,<\/p>\n

Y\u00fcz\u00fcm ve g\u00f6zlerim,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hele kalbim!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hepsi birbirinden huzurlu ve heyecanl\u0131.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Oyun mu bu yoksa?<\/p>\n

Korkmuyorum art\u0131k!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tebess\u00fcm\u00fcm\u00fc alamazs\u0131n\u0131z benden.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Nas\u0131l geldi\u011fini, kimlerin ya da kimin getirdi\u011fini bilmiyorum.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Bildi\u011fim en g\u00fczel \u015fey,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tebess\u00fcm\u00fcn y\u00fcz\u00fcme ne kadar yak\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Bana ve ya\u015fam\u0131ma ho\u015fgeldi\u011fidir.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Korkmuyorum!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Art\u0131k bak\u0131yor ve g\u00f6rebiliyorum<\/p>\n

Tebess\u00fcm\u00fc bana getiren insanlar\u0131.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u0130zin verdim bana ve hayat\u0131ma ho\u015fgelen insanlara.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ne olur, tebess\u00fcm\u00fcm\u00fc almay\u0131n benden!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

FOZ\u00a0 Bazen y\u00fcz\u00fcmde k\u0131s\u0131k bir g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f yakalar\u0131m.\u00a0 Yanaklar\u0131m k\u0131zar\u0131r,\u00a0 Di\u015flerim hafif\u00e7e ortaya \u00e7\u0131kar,\u00a0 Sa\u00e7\u0131m \u00e7oktan parmaklar\u0131m\u0131n aras\u0131nda dola\u015fmaya<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1926,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nY\u00fcz\u00fcmdeki Tebess\u00fcm \u00a0 - SES MAGAZINE<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.sesdergisi.ca\/?p=1929\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Y\u00fcz\u00fcmdeki Tebess\u00fcm \u00a0 - SES MAGAZINE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"FOZ\u00a0 Bazen y\u00fcz\u00fcmde k\u0131s\u0131k bir g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f yakalar\u0131m.\u00a0 Yanaklar\u0131m k\u0131zar\u0131r,\u00a0 Di\u015flerim hafif\u00e7e ortaya \u00e7\u0131kar,\u00a0 Sa\u00e7\u0131m \u00e7oktan parmaklar\u0131m\u0131n aras\u0131nda dola\u015fmaya\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.sesdergisi.ca\/?p=1929\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"SES MAGAZINE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/serifkanada\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-06-27T23:56:53+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.sesdergisi.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/allef-vinicius-oe_03B2Q5A4-unsplash.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"400\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.sesdergisi.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/allef-vinicius-oe_03B2Q5A4-unsplash.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@https:\/\/twitter.com\/serifcanada1\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Est. reading time\">\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"2 minutes\">\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.sesdergisi.ca\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.sesdergisi.ca\/\",\"name\":\"SES MAGAZINE\",\"description\":\"Literature \\u00b7 Analysis \\u00b7 Thought\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":\"https:\/\/www.sesdergisi.ca\/?s={search_term_string}\",\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.sesdergisi.ca\/?p=1929#primaryimage\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.sesdergisi.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/allef-vinicius-oe_03B2Q5A4-unsplash.jpg\",\"width\":600,\"height\":400},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.sesdergisi.ca\/?p=1929#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.sesdergisi.ca\/?p=1929\",\"name\":\"Y\\u00fcz\\u00fcmdeki Tebess\\u00fcm \\u00a0 - 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