{"id":1571,"date":"2020-10-08T01:32:34","date_gmt":"2020-10-08T01:32:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sesdergisi.ca\/?p=1571"},"modified":"2020-10-08T01:32:34","modified_gmt":"2020-10-08T01:32:34","slug":"beyaz-sabun","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sesdergisi.ca\/?p=1571","title":{"rendered":"BEYAZ SABUN"},"content":{"rendered":"

M\u0130NE AKDEM\u0130R<\/h4>\n

\u00c7ok s\u00fcrmeden kucaklad\u0131 beni uyku. Tela\u015fl\u0131 ya da rutin sabahlara ta\u015f\u0131yan, kimi zaman ka\u00e7\u0131\u015f, kimi zaman ba\u015flang\u0131\u00e7lar\u0131n \u00f6n kap\u0131s\u0131 uyku. Kendi tercihlerimde hi\u00e7 ayak diretemedi\u011fim, \u00e7arelerin onlarca kilide vuruldu\u011fu, unutmalar\u0131n tatl\u0131 k\u0131sa molas\u0131 ve teslim oldu\u011fum tek zaman dilimi uyku…<\/p>\n

Ta ki, dalg\u0131n karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda g\u00f6zlerimi aralayana dek. Her \u015fey susmu\u015ftu. Milyonluk ve hayat\u0131n seherden gecenin fecrine kadar hi\u00e7 durmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bu \u015fehirde her \u015fey susup bekliyordu. Ne bir \u0131\u015f\u0131k ne bir ses. Bir an, Penceremdeki t\u00fcl\u00fc u\u00e7u\u015fturan r\u00fczg\u00e2r seslendi, yan\u0131na \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131 beni. Takip et beni dedi. Ama odam devasa bir yap\u0131n\u0131n y\u00fckseklerinde idi. \u00c7a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 yineledi. \u0130taat ettim g\u00f6n\u00fcls\u00fcz. Ayaklar\u0131m \u00e7i\u011fden \u0131slanm\u0131\u015f so\u011fuk otlara g\u00f6m\u00fcld\u00fc, yerle g\u00f6k birle\u015fti, y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fcm ard\u0131nca.<\/p>\n

Kur\u015funi ve \u0131slak bir bulut inmi\u015fti yerlere, sakl\u0131yordu her \u015feyi g\u00f6zlerimden. \u00dc\u015f\u00fcd\u00fcm. Ne kadar y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fcm bilmem? R\u00fczg\u00e2r u\u00e7u\u015fturdu sa\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131. Sonra ba\u015fka r\u00fczgarlar geldi. Etraf\u0131m\u0131 sar\u0131p sarmalad\u0131lar. Hepsi avu\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131lar, g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Birinde \u00e7\u00f6ven, di\u011ferinde sidr, bir ba\u015fkas\u0131nda k\u00e2firun vard\u0131. Bir di\u011feri r\u00fczgar\u0131nda bembeyaz atlaslar\u0131 savurdu ba\u015f\u0131mdan…<\/p>\n

Soydular beni incitmeden. T\u0131pk\u0131 annemin beni kuca\u011f\u0131na ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 ilk anki gibi. Gri so\u011fuk bir bulutun \u00fcst\u00fcne yat\u0131rd\u0131lar. Il\u0131k sular \u00f6nce sa\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131 \u0131slatt\u0131, sonra usul usul bedenimi. Titredim, korktum, \u015fa\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. Ve o koku doldu genzime, sonra da bedenime sar\u0131nd\u0131\u2026 Sabun kokusu!..\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>*\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSanki koca bir s\u00fcr\u00fc s\u0131rt\u0131m\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnden ezip ge\u00e7mi\u015f gibi. B\u00fct\u00fcn eklemlerim a\u011fr\u0131yor. Hi\u00e7 b\u00f6ylesi bir hafta ge\u00e7irmemi\u015ftim. Zaten, son bir ay tadilatla u\u011fra\u015ft\u0131m. Ustalar\u0131n performans\u0131 fena de\u011fildi ama, neyse ki vaktinde yeti\u015ftirdiler. Mek\u00e2n sahibi, kira konusunda az m\u00fccadele etmi\u015fim gibi, tadilat i\u00e7in bile sorun \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131. Bir \u00f6nceki kirac\u0131s\u0131ndan a\u011fz\u0131 yand\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan, bende yo\u011furdu \u00fcfleyecek.<\/p>\n

As\u0131l i\u015f sonras\u0131yd\u0131. Tadilat bitimi temizlik, salon d\u00fczenlemesi, a\u00e7\u0131lan onlarca koli, y\u00fczlerce k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck \u015fi\u015fenin yerle\u015ftirilmesi. O da s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131l\u0131yd\u0131. K\u0131r\u0131lacaklar diye diken \u00fcst\u00fcndeydim. Eli de\u011fen herkes g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn hapsindeydi. O \u015fi\u015feler beni hem b\u00fcy\u00fck bir borcun hem de b\u00fcy\u00fck beklentilerin alt\u0131na sokmu\u015ftu. Olsun, ben b\u00fcy\u00fck oynamay\u0131 severim.<\/p>\n

Bu g\u00f6z\u00fc karal\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n, s\u0131n\u0131r\u0131 olmayan cesaretimin kayna\u011f\u0131, en b\u00fcy\u00fck m\u00fcttefikim olan babac\u0131\u011f\u0131md\u0131r.\u00a0 <\/span>\u00c7ocuklu\u011fumdan bu yana \u201cbenim k\u0131z\u0131m yapar\u201d \u015feklinde, iyi mi k\u00f6t\u00fc m\u00fc etti\u011fini hi\u00e7 sorgulamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m deste\u011fine bor\u00e7luyum. Hi\u00e7bir zaman ufkumu kapatmad\u0131, s\u0131n\u0131r koymad\u0131. K\u00f6t\u00fc karne getirdi\u011fimde, kom\u015fu ve okul \u015fik\u00e2yetlerinde, babaannemin ak\u015famlar\u0131 su barda\u011f\u0131na koydu\u011fu takma di\u015flerini \u00e7\u00f6pe att\u0131\u011f\u0131mda, a\u011fabeyimle, o hi\u00e7 kan\u0131m\u0131n \u0131s\u0131nmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 s\u00f6zl\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fcn aras\u0131n\u0131 bozdu\u011fumda, ni\u015fanl\u0131m\u0131n i\u015fleri bozulup y\u00fcz\u00fc\u011f\u00fc avucuna b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda o hep arkamda durdu.<\/p>\n

Anneme gelince bir zaman sonra k\u00fcsk\u00fcn suskunlu\u011funa kapand\u0131. A\u011fabeyim de ondan farkl\u0131 de\u011fildi. K\u0131sacas\u0131 ben babam\u0131n k\u0131z\u0131yd\u0131m, a\u011fabeyim de annemin o\u011flu.<\/p>\n

Ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m destek kabart\u0131l\u0131p beslenirken, bir\u00e7ok omuzu ezip ge\u00e7ti\u011fim h\u0131rs\u0131mla, hen\u00fcz yirmili ya\u015flar\u0131m\u0131n sonunda hayallerimi ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftiriyordum nihayet. Bug\u00fcn ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcretti\u011fi parf\u00fcmleri sataca\u011f\u0131m, ama bir g\u00fcn kendi markam olacak bu raflarda ve bir de ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m s\u00fcrece bulundu\u011fum hi\u00e7bir mek\u00e2nda asla beyaz sabun olmayacak.<\/p>\n

Her neyse, yapacak \u00e7ok i\u015f var. A\u00e7\u0131l\u0131\u015fta \u00e7ok \u015f\u0131k olmal\u0131y\u0131m. Sabah ilk i\u015f k\u0131yafetlerimi haz\u0131rlayaca\u011f\u0131m. Ayakkab\u0131lar\u0131ma verdi\u011fim paraya inanam\u0131yorum. Asl\u0131nda dolab\u0131mda hen\u00fcz giymedi\u011fim birka\u00e7 \u00e7ift ayn\u0131 i\u015fi g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fc ama vitrindeki sanki \u201cbeni al\u201d diyordu. Her \u015feyi eksiksiz planlam\u0131\u015f oldu\u011fumdan hala emin de\u011filim. Yatmadan \u00f6nce tekrar bakmal\u0131y\u0131m. Elemanlar umar\u0131m gecikmez. Hepsine s\u0131k\u0131 s\u0131k\u0131 tembihledim: \u201c\u00dcst\u00fcn\u00fcz ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131z itinal\u0131 olsun, sabah erkenden mek\u00e2nda eksiksiz olacaks\u0131n\u0131z, aksi takdirde g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcz\u00fcn ya\u015f\u0131na bakmam!\u2019\u2019<\/p>\n

\u0130lk g\u00fcnden beni hayal k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131na u\u011fratan\u0131 yan\u0131mda tutmam diye. Ortal\u0131\u011f\u0131n son bir kez toparlanmas\u0131, davetlilerin ikraml\u0131klar\u0131, \u00e7i\u00e7ekler. Salon d\u00fczeni, temizlik\u2026 G\u00f6rsellik olmazsa olmaz\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Bu arada davetlilerim de \u00f6yle s\u0131radan insanlar de\u011filler. \u00c7o\u011funun yurtd\u0131\u015f\u0131 ba\u011flant\u0131lar\u0131 var. \u015eehrin en g\u00f6zde kozmetik \u00fcreticileri ve bayileri. Bunlar\u0131n d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda yabana at\u0131lmayacak potansiyel m\u00fc\u015fteriler. Ben insanlar\u0131n zaaflar\u0131na hitap etmeyi tercih ediyorum. Bu sekt\u00f6re girdi\u011fimden beri \u00f6yle \u015feylere tan\u0131k oldum ki, i\u00e7lerinde tan\u0131nm\u0131\u015f bir markaya asgari \u00fccretin bilmem ka\u00e7 kat\u0131 paray\u0131 g\u00f6zden \u00e7\u0131karanlar bile oldu.<\/p>\n

Ha, unutmadan, a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131\u015f i\u00e7in kuaf\u00f6rden randevu alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m, kontrol etmeliyim. Ancak haz\u0131rlan\u0131r\u0131m, daha bunun makyaj\u0131 var. \u00dcst\u00fcm\u00fc d\u00fckk\u00e2nda giyerim, akordeon k\u00f6r\u00fc\u011f\u00fc gibi k\u0131yafetle \u00e7\u0131kmak istemem onca insan\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na, k\u0131r\u0131\u015fmas\u0131n. \u00c7i\u00e7ek k\u0131sm\u0131n\u0131 da unutmayay\u0131m. Salona kurdurdu\u011fum ikram masalar\u0131 i\u00e7in egzotik \u00e7i\u00e7ekler \u0131smarlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Eh, iddial\u0131 bir a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131\u015f i\u00e7in de karanfil olmaz tabii. Reklamc\u0131lar\u0131 da aramal\u0131. Son dakika bir aksilik olmas\u0131n. Ben garanticiyim, buzlu cam ard\u0131nda muallakta kalan \u015feyleri sevmiyorum. Faturalar\u0131n, \u00e7al\u0131\u015fanlar\u0131n sigorta belgelerinin de g\u00f6zden ge\u00e7irilmesi gerek. Maliyecilerle s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131 ya\u015faman\u0131n s\u0131ras\u0131 de\u011fil. Reklamc\u0131lara ayr\u0131 bir \u00f6zen laz\u0131m. Tan\u0131t\u0131m i\u00e7in a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131m internet sitesini daha aktif hale getirmeliyim. Bu y\u00fczden onlarla iyi ge\u00e7inmeli. Telefonumu ve saatimi kurmal\u0131y\u0131m. Annemi de tembihledim, ola ki alarmlar\u0131 duymazsam bana seslenecek. Art\u0131k yatmal\u0131y\u0131m. Vakit gece yar\u0131s\u0131na yakla\u015ft\u0131. Yar\u0131n b\u00fcy\u00fck g\u00fcn. Her \u015fey kusursuz olmal\u0131\u2026 Olacak!..\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>*<\/p>\n

Nas\u0131l? Okurken bile zihnin yoruldu de\u011fil mi? Bir de onu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn. Peki senin hayat\u0131n ne kadar dingin? Ya da beklentilerin, h\u0131rslar\u0131n ka\u00e7\u0131nc\u0131 boyutta? Onlar i\u00e7in neleri g\u00f6zden \u00e7\u0131karabilirsin? Asl\u0131nda \u00e7ok keskin farkl\u0131l\u0131klar yok. Sen fark etmesen bile, g\u00fcn i\u00e7inde olmad\u0131k an ve yerlerde ge\u00e7mi\u015fin m\u00fctalaas\u0131n\u0131, yapacak ve yap\u0131yor olduklar\u0131n\u0131n planlamas\u0131n\u0131 aktar\u0131p d\u00f6nd\u00fcrmez misin? Ge\u00e7mi\u015fe hay\u0131flan\u0131p, gelece\u011fe kararmaz m\u0131s\u0131n? Yemek yerken, kitap okurken, arabada, du\u015fta, i\u015fte, ibadette, d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde, cenazede?<\/p>\n

Duydu\u011fun ses, koku, ya da anl\u0131k bir g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fc, detay seni ta\u015f\u0131r onlara. Zay\u0131f an\u0131n\u0131 yakalar, makul olmak \u00f6nemsizdir. Yapars\u0131n, bir yerlere s\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131rs\u0131n, planlars\u0131n, d\u00fczenlersin, \u00f6ne al\u0131r ya da ertelersin. Sanki sana s\u0131n\u0131rs\u0131z bir zaman ve g\u00fc\u00e7 teminat\u0131 verilmi\u015f gibi. O da \u00f6yle bak\u0131yor hayata. Masumane ba\u015flay\u0131p b\u00fcy\u00fctt\u00fc\u011f\u00fc ne varsa tamamlamak\u2026 Pahas\u0131n\u0131 umursamadan.<\/p>\n

O, hayat\u0131n\u0131n lise y\u0131llar\u0131na dek olan k\u0131sm\u0131nda dede topra\u011f\u0131ndayd\u0131. D\u00fczayak, etraf\u0131 meyve a\u011fa\u00e7l\u0131, sebze ekimi i\u00e7in ayr\u0131lm\u0131\u015f k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir bah\u00e7e ile \u00e7evrili evde, anne, baba, a\u011fabey ve dedesinden y\u00e2digar ninesi ile be\u015f ki\u015filik \u201ceh i\u015fte\u201d bir hayat. Baba \u00e7ift \u00e7ubuk, anne de geri kalan her \u015feyi kotar\u0131rd\u0131. A\u011fabey okumam\u0131\u015f, bir konaklama tesisinde garson olarak \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmay\u0131 se\u00e7mi\u015fti. Hayat\u0131 ile ilgili se\u00e7imlerinde zorlanaca\u011f\u0131 s\u0131n\u0131rlar koymam\u0131\u015f, ne ise \u015feklinde tercih yapm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. K\u0131z karde\u015fi gibi de\u011fildi. D\u00fcz bir adamd\u0131 ve zarar\u0131n\u0131 da g\u00f6rmemi\u015fti, yarar\u0131n\u0131 da.<\/p>\n

Nineye gelince, ka\u00e7\u0131nc\u0131 y\u0131l\u0131n\u0131 kendisinin de bilmedi\u011fi, \u00e7o\u011fu ya\u015f\u0131t\u0131 gibi \u201cba\u011f bozumu vaktiydi\u201d tarz\u0131nda tan\u0131mlayan, s\u00fcrekli hasta bir kad\u0131nd\u0131. \u00c7ocuklu\u011fundan kalma a\u011f\u0131r seyreden ast\u0131m\u0131, onun kadar ev halk\u0131na da k\u0131s\u0131tlamalar getirmi\u015fti ister istemez. Her t\u00fcrl\u00fc koku ve toza kar\u015f\u0131 a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 duyarl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 vard\u0131 ninenin. Evde d\u00fczen onun bu hassasiyetine g\u00f6re kuruluydu. Temizlikten bula\u015f\u0131\u011fa, \u00e7ama\u015f\u0131ra kadar hi\u00e7bir kimyasal i\u00e7eri girmezdi. Bir \u015fey hari\u00e7. Beyaz sabun\u2026<\/p>\n

Her \u015fey sabun kokuluydu hayatlar\u0131nda. Teneff\u00fcs ettikleri hava, giysileri, dokunduklar\u0131 her \u015fey. \u00d6yle ki, art\u0131k ba\u015fka esintilerin ehemmiyeti kalmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131, ya da hi\u00e7 yoktular.<\/p>\n

Bu durumun s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 en \u00e7ok anne ya\u015fard\u0131. Haftan\u0131n bir g\u00fcn\u00fc rutin olarak sabun rendelemeye ve kurutmaya ay\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131. Yemek pi\u015firirken hava nas\u0131l olursa olsun mutfak pencere ve balkon kap\u0131lar\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131r, kap\u0131s\u0131 s\u0131k\u0131 s\u0131k\u0131ya kapal\u0131 olurdu.<\/p>\n

Ninenin odas\u0131 \u00f6zerk b\u00f6lgeydi. Evin en iyi g\u00fcne\u015f alan, polenlere kar\u015f\u0131 en korunakl\u0131 ve bah\u00e7eye en mesafeli odas\u0131 ona ay\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Fanusuna kendisiyle birlikte b\u00fct\u00fcn aileyi de alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Sessiz, m\u00fclayim bir kad\u0131nd\u0131. \u00d6zellikle gelinine kar\u015f\u0131 muhabbetli bir minnet duyard\u0131. Bu da verdi\u011fi zahmeti yumu\u015fat\u0131rd\u0131. Sadece evin k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fc\u011f\u00fc tek k\u0131z\u0131, hi\u00e7 sevmemi\u015fti onu. Mecbur kalmad\u0131k\u00e7a odas\u0131na girmezdi. \u00c7ocukluk masallar\u0131n\u0131n kara ma\u011faras\u0131 o oda, ev i\u00e7inde s\u0131n\u0131r belirledi\u011fi, yok sayd\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir alana d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Nine fig\u00fcr\u00fc, hi\u00e7bir zaman sevecen olmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ona.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Oda, pirin\u00e7 arkal\u0131kl\u0131 bir metal karyola, tek kap\u0131l\u0131 ah\u015fap elbise dolab\u0131, \u00fczerine ninenin ila\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131, kurmal\u0131 eski saatini ve dua kitaplar\u0131n\u0131 koydu\u011fu k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir komodin, yaz k\u0131\u015f hi\u00e7 kald\u0131r\u0131lmayan k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir odun sobas\u0131 ve \u00fczerinde \u015eahmeran fig\u00fcrleri olan teneke bir sand\u0131ktan ibaretti. Sand\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7i, rendelenmeyi bekleyen sabunlarla doldurulurdu. A\u011fabeyi ile birlikte sadece s\u00f6yleyecekleri, ya da dinleyecekleri bir \u015fey oldu\u011funda girerlerdi oraya. Bir de bayram sabahlar\u0131 el \u00f6pmeye. Ya\u015flar\u0131 ne olursa olsun, nine biri mavi biri pembe mendile sard\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcll\u00fc lokumu ve har\u00e7l\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 sunard\u0131 onlara ve anne, her bayram sabah\u0131 pembe mendile sar\u0131l\u0131 lokumu \u00e7\u00f6pte bulurdu hep. Evin h\u0131r\u00e7\u0131n k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n hissettiklerini ifade etmesinin tek yolu buydu.<\/p>\n

Ve o, kozas\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, \u00fcniversite y\u0131llar\u0131nda kelebe\u011fe d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u00fc ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Nefreti, ba\u015fka rayihalara kokulara ilgisini art\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u0130\u015fe, okul arkada\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n eline tutu\u015fturdu\u011fu kataloglarla ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f ve bir parf\u00fcmeri bayiinde i\u015f bulmu\u015ftu. K\u0131sa zamanda h\u0131rs\u0131 ve kokular konusundaki zevki ile kozmetik firmalar\u0131n\u0131n dikkatini \u00e7ekmi\u015fti, ancak yetmedi. O, olmazsa olmaz\u0131 hedefini tiksindi\u011fi sabun kokulu k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck evde zaten \u00e7oktan belirlemi\u015fti. Kararl\u0131yd\u0131, hayat\u0131 boyunca ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 hi\u00e7bir mek\u00e2nda o koku asla olmayacakt\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>*<\/p>\n

\u201cArt\u0131k yatmal\u0131y\u0131m. Vakit gece yar\u0131s\u0131na yakla\u015ft\u0131. Yar\u0131n b\u00fcy\u00fck g\u00fcn. Her \u015fey kusursuz olmal\u0131\u2026 Olacak!..\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>*<\/p>\n

Onun planlad\u0131klar\u0131 ile yatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 yorgun gecenin sabah\u0131nda, sorgulaman\u0131n, nedenlere ve nas\u0131llara cevap araman\u0131n anlams\u0131z oldu\u011fu an\u0131 ya\u015f\u0131yorlard\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7 ki\u015fi. \u00c7ok de\u011fil, birka\u00e7 saat \u00f6ncesine kadar, bu bodrum kat\u0131n\u0131n so\u011fuk metal dolapta bakt\u0131klar\u0131 solgun can pare i\u00e7indi b\u00fct\u00fcn nedenler, nas\u0131llar? Enerjisi hi\u00e7 bitmeyen, pes etmeyen gen\u00e7 bir hayat, sabah\u0131nda onca b\u00fcy\u00fck beklentileri olan, hi\u00e7 uyanmas\u0131 olmayan uykuya yenik d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc.\u201d Her \u015feyi oldu\u011fu gibi b\u0131rak ve gel\u201d h\u00fckm\u00fcnce.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

M\u0130NE AKDEM\u0130R \u00c7ok s\u00fcrmeden kucaklad\u0131 beni uyku. Tela\u015fl\u0131 ya da rutin sabahlara ta\u015f\u0131yan, kimi zaman ka\u00e7\u0131\u015f, kimi zaman<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1513,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nBEYAZ SABUN - SES MAGAZINE<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.sesdergisi.ca\/?p=1571\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"BEYAZ SABUN - SES MAGAZINE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"M\u0130NE AKDEM\u0130R \u00c7ok s\u00fcrmeden kucaklad\u0131 beni uyku. 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