{"id":140,"date":"2019-07-21T03:25:03","date_gmt":"2019-07-21T03:25:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sesdergisi.ca\/?p=140"},"modified":"2019-07-23T19:12:11","modified_gmt":"2019-07-23T19:12:11","slug":"mericte-can-pazari","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sesdergisi.ca\/?p=140","title":{"rendered":"Meri\u00e7te Can Pazar\u0131"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Yasemin Tatl\u0131seven<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Zifiri karanl\u0131k!.. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ama korkmuyorum. Trakya\u2019day\u0131m, benim topraklar\u0131mda… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dedelerim, babam, annem, ben hep bu topraklarda do\u011fup b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fck. Bu toprak beni ba\u011fr\u0131na basar. Bu topraktan korkulmaz. \u0130\u00e7imde garip hisler… \u015ea\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131k, \u00fcz\u00fcnt\u00fc, ac\u0131, keder,\u00f6zlem, hasret, endi\u015fe hepsi birbirine girmi\u015f durumda…Ad\u0131n\u0131 koymak g\u00fc\u00e7… Benim gezdi\u011fim bast\u0131\u011f\u0131m topraklar bunlar, nefesimi g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcne savurdu\u011fum g\u00f6kkubbe… Bana bu topraklardan zarar gelmez biliyorum. Yine de gerginim, gerginiz hepimiz!.. Bir bilinmeze yola \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131k. Umudumuz kaf da\u011f\u0131n\u0131n ard\u0131nda… Zaman ge\u00e7sin mi istiyorum yoksa ge\u00e7mesin mi? Bunlar\u0131 ya\u015fayan ben miyim? Allah\u2019\u0131m neler yap\u0131yorum? \u00c7ok az ki\u015fi biliyor \u015fuan nerede oldu\u011fumu,kimseyi \u00fczmek istemedim. Bu endi\u015feli bekleyi\u015fe , kimseyi ortak etmek istemedim. Oysa ben bunu iki senedir ya\u015f\u0131yorum. Kimler ortak oldu \u00e7ektiklerime, kimler olmad\u0131 bilemiyorum. Kimsenin fikrini almad\u0131m. Akl-\u0131 selim her insan\u0131n beni durduraca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 biliyorum. E\u011fer fikrinizi alsayd\u0131m, yine bildi\u011fimi yapacakt\u0131m. K\u0131zmay\u0131n bana i\u00e7imde kopan f\u0131rt\u0131nalar\u0131 durduram\u0131yorum.          <\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u0131rk ya\u015f\u0131ndan sonra kim ister vatan\u0131ndan b\u00f6yle ayr\u0131lmay\u0131? Cebren gidiyorum. Keyfi bir karar san\u0131yorsunuz. Ba\u015fka bir \u015fans\u0131m\u0131n olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6remiyorsunuz. \u201dVatan\u0131m\u201ddeyince daha \u015fimdiden burnumun dire\u011finin s\u0131zlad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ah bir bilseniz! Geri d\u00f6n\u00fcp d\u00f6nmeyece\u011fini bilememek nas\u0131l bir duygu anlasan\u0131z. T\u00fcm sevdiklerimi geride b\u0131rakmak, anneme d\u00fcnya g\u00f6z\u00fcyle bir daha sar\u0131l\u0131p sar\u0131lamayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 bilememek! Hay\u0131r duas\u0131n\u0131 hep \u00fcst\u00fcmde hissetti\u011fim babam\u0131n ellerini bir daha \u00f6pememek… Belki cenazelerine gelememek…Ya benim cenazem? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ya benim cenazem? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bir tabutta, u\u00e7ak kargosuyla vatan\u0131ma gelir mi ki? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kabul eder misiniz? Varl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 istemeyenler,cenazemi <\/p>\n\n\n\n

ister mi? Bir selay\u0131 \u00e7ok mu g\u00f6r\u00fcrs\u00fcn\u00fcz bana ya da bir mezar ta\u015f\u0131n\u0131?..                                                             <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gece zifiri karanl\u0131k! Mezar\u0131n i\u00e7i gibi karanl\u0131k! Bu yolun sonunda h\u00fcrriyet! Ya ataca\u011f\u0131m bu ad\u0131m\u0131,k\u0131raca\u011f\u0131m prangalar\u0131 ,ya geri d\u00f6nece\u011fim,\u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011fe veda edip… Karar benim… Yol benim… H\u00fcrriyet Meri\u00e7\u2019in ard\u0131nda…                               <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Y\u0131llarca Meri\u00e7,Arda, Tuna koyduk \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n ad\u0131n\u0131… Ah Balkanlar! Atalar\u0131m\u0131z Meri\u00e7\u2019i ge\u00e7ip Anadolu\u2019ya gelmi\u015flerdi, y\u00fczy\u0131l kadar \u00f6nce… Belki yine zifiri karanl\u0131k gecelerde…Kader bu ya tersine g\u00f6\u00e7 d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc k\u0131smetimize…Anneannemin anlatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6\u00e7 hikayeleriyle b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fcm. Ondand\u0131r belki g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn karal\u0131\u011f\u0131… Korkmuyorum gidece\u011fim topraklardan ,atalar\u0131m\u0131za yurt olan, vatan olan… Ba\u011fr\u0131nda bana da bir yer vard\u0131r. E\u011fer bu nehirden canl\u0131 \u00e7\u0131karsam. Uzaktan bir t\u00fcrk\u00fc sal\u0131n\u0131yor kula\u011f\u0131ma,\u201dMeri\u00e7\u2019in azg\u0131n suyu aram\u0131za girdi de \u201cdiye…Meri\u00e7\u2019e de\u011fil de ,azg\u0131n suyuna tak\u0131l\u0131yorum. Kimler yitip gitti ,ak\u0131nt\u0131na kap\u0131l\u0131p y\u00fczy\u0131llard\u0131r? Kimler o taraftan bu tarafa ,bu taraftan o tarafa ,seni a\u015fmadan ge\u00e7emedi? Kimlerin hayallerine set oldun? Kimleri ak\u0131nt\u0131nla s\u00fcr\u00fckleyip k\u0131y\u0131ya vurdun? Kimler s\u0131rat k\u00f6pr\u00fcs\u00fc gibi k\u0131ldan ince ,k\u0131l\u0131\u00e7tan keskince ge\u00e7ip gitti seni?                                                  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gece zifiri, nehir karanl\u0131k… K\u0131vr\u0131la k\u0131vr\u0131la uzan\u0131p gidiyor ,a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131n aras\u0131nda… Kurak tarlalardan , boyumuzca otlar\u0131n aras\u0131ndan, hi\u00e7 durmadan, soluklanmadan, ko\u015farak geldik sana… Kar\u015f\u0131 k\u0131y\u0131na ermek murad\u0131m\u0131z… Bilsen kar\u015f\u0131 k\u0131y\u0131da bizim i\u00e7in neler var?Umut var! \u00c7ocuklar\u0131m var! E\u015fim var! Yuvam var! Bu taraf karanl\u0131k,zifiri gece!Kar\u015f\u0131 k\u0131y\u0131ya g\u00fcne\u015f do\u011fmak \u00fczere… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kimbilir papatya tarlalar\u0131 da vard\u0131r belki de …                                                         <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nehir karanl\u0131k,gece karanl\u0131k,\u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fcz karanl\u0131k… I\u015f\u0131klar yanacak birazdan biliyorum. Ah Vatan\u0131m! \u0130\u00e7im nas\u0131l yan\u0131yor, bir bilseniz? Sevgiliden \u00f6teymi\u015f yang\u0131n\u0131,ana gibi ,evlat gibi ,kor i\u00e7imde!.. Bu \u015fekilde gitmek zorunda kalmak ac\u0131!..                          <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bir daha ne zaman ayak basaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 bilmeden ,son ad\u0131m\u0131m\u0131 Meri\u00e7 Nehrinde ki bota at\u0131yorum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yasemin Tatl\u0131seven Zifiri karanl\u0131k!..  Ama korkmuyorum. Trakya\u2019day\u0131m, benim topraklar\u0131mda…  Dedelerim, babam, annem, ben hep bu topraklarda do\u011fup b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fck.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":158,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nMeri\u00e7te Can Pazar\u0131 - SES MAGAZINE<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.sesdergisi.ca\/?p=140\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Meri\u00e7te Can Pazar\u0131 - SES MAGAZINE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Yasemin Tatl\u0131seven Zifiri karanl\u0131k!..  Ama korkmuyorum. 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