Ka\u00e7\u0131nc\u0131 kez t\u0131rmand\u0131m bu ta\u015f merdivenleri bilmem? Ne \u00e7ok h\u00fcz\u00fcnl\u00fc ad\u0131mla a\u015f\u0131n\u0131p \u00e7\u00f6km\u00fc\u015f omuzlar\u0131? Ve takiben elele tutu\u015fup, kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 dizilmi\u015f servilerin ba\u015f e\u011ferek buyur etti\u011fi ta\u015f yol.<\/p>\n
Ne tarafa baksam renk renk \u00e7i\u00e7ekler. Onlar ve bast\u0131\u011f\u0131m ta\u015flar\u0131n aras\u0131ndan ba\u015f vermi\u015f otlar. \u00c7aresiz \u00a0 <\/span>suskunlu\u011fun, teslim olmu\u015flu\u011fun do\u011fas\u0131na inat, hayat\u0131 hat\u0131rlatan.<\/p>\n Aralar\u0131ndan ge\u00e7iyorum. Hi\u00e7biri yol g\u00f6stermeye, ben de sormaya ihtiya\u00e7 duymuyoruz. Zaten \u00f6yle \u00e2\u015finalar ki ad\u0131mlar\u0131ma… Ya\u011fmuru, kar\u0131, kurumu\u015f \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131lar\u0131, ye\u015fil otlar\u0131 defalarca, mevsimlerce \u00e7i\u011fnedi\u011fim ve beni g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fckleri son noktayla bulu\u015fturan \u015fu ad\u0131mlar\u0131ma…<\/p>\n Ben uyuyan, uyanm\u0131\u015flar\u0131n aras\u0131nda, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck toprak yola sap\u0131yorum. Birbirine kom\u015fu t\u00fcmsekler ge\u00e7iyor s\u0131rayla g\u00f6zlerimden. Kimi \u00e7\u0131plak, kimi bembeyaz surlarla kale gibi kucaklanm\u0131\u015f \u201cSer gitti, s\u0131rr\u0131 vermeyelim\u201d der gibi. Ve baz\u0131lar\u0131na Firdevs\u00ee g\u00fczellik l\u00fctfedilmi\u015f renk renk. Bir di\u011feri g\u00e2rib, \u00e7\u0131plak ve yaln\u0131z. Ger\u00e7ek ahv\u00e2li g\u00f6stermez hi\u00e7bir g\u00f6ze, ses etmez hi\u00e7bir kula\u011fa. Hep birlikte bekle\u015firler son sabah\u0131 ki ya Reyyan kap\u0131s\u0131nda ya H\u00fcmeze yamac\u0131nda.<\/p>\n Kim bilir ne zaman kondu bu papatya demeti \u00fczerine? Kurumu\u015f ve kendini unutturmu\u015f? Kim bilir hangi vefal\u0131 el \u0131slatm\u0131\u015f damarlar\u0131n\u0131 topra\u011f\u0131n\u0131n di\u011ferinin? Kim bilir \u015fu ser\u00e7e ka\u00e7\u0131nc\u0131ya yudumluyor suyunu ayak ucundaki k\u00e2sesinden?<\/p>\n Ve ben, kim bilir y\u00fcklendi\u011fim a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131klar\u0131mla unutulmu\u015f t\u00fcmseklerin aras\u0131ndan ka\u00e7\u0131nc\u0131 kez ge\u00e7erek buldu\u011fum, ezelimin tatl\u0131 hat\u0131ras\u0131, ebedimin keskin m\u00fchr\u00fc o son<\/p>\n kap\u0131ya?<\/p>\n Ve ben, yine sessizce ili\u015ftim beyaz surlar\u0131n\u0131n ayak ucuna. Yine sana geldim. N\u00e2file ki yine sessiz kalmay\u0131 se\u00e7eceksin biliyorum. Olsun, yine de biliyorsun ya buraday\u0131m.<\/p>\n \u00dczerinde yine yab\u00e2ni otlar bitmi\u015f. Onlara k\u0131zm\u0131yorum, biliyorum k\u00f6kleri senin avucunda, sen uzat\u0131yorsun bana. Sana bug\u00fcn menek\u015fe getirdim, sen en \u00e7ok onu severdin. Penceremizin \u00f6n\u00fcndeki menek\u015felerin gibi. Hani \u015fu, bir sulama s\u00fcresince muhabbetini benden \u00e7alan menek\u015feler. Art\u0131k sitemim yok onlara. Mahcubum. Yerini tutamad\u0131m, beni senin gibi dinlemiyorlar. Zaten diyece\u011fim ne var ki?<\/p>\n G\u00f6kku\u015fa\u011f\u0131yd\u0131 kap\u0131m\u0131z, yedi renkti kalkan\u0131m\u0131z, koymazd\u0131 i\u00e7eri ne gam ne de mazarat. D\u0131\u015f kenar\u0131nda kal\u0131rd\u0131 hepsi ak\u015fam eve d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015flerde. Sabah yine y\u00fcklenmek i\u00e7in beklerdi beni. Gitti\u011finde g\u00f6n\u00fcll\u00fc y\u00fcklendim hepsini, hi\u00e7biri \u00f6ks\u00fcz de\u011fil art\u0131k. Ne tatl\u0131 bencil yasaklar\u0131n vard\u0131. Anahtar\u0131m i\u015fe yaramazd\u0131, sen daha \u00f6nce a\u00e7ard\u0131n o kap\u0131y\u0131. Ve hep g\u0131c\u0131rdayan, geli\u015fimi haber verdi\u011fi i\u00e7in ya\u011flamama iznin yoktu bah\u00e7e kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131. Sen \u00f6yle isterdin.<\/p>\n Seni \u00e7ok \u00f6zledim. S\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc tutmad\u0131n, \u00e7abuk pes ettin. Oysa ne \u00e7ok yar\u0131m kalm\u0131\u015fl\u0131k b\u0131rakt\u0131n i\u00e7imde. K\u00fcl tablas\u0131nda\u00a0 <\/span>unutulmu\u015f\u00a0 <\/span>t\u00fct\u00fcn\u00a0 <\/span>gibiyim.\u00a0 <\/span>\u00c7ekilmemi\u015f\u00a0 <\/span>nefeslerimin k\u00fcllerini b\u0131rakt\u0131m. Zaten sensiz tamamlanacak ne kald\u0131 ki?<\/p>\n Sonbahar gidi\u015findi. Baharlar\u0131 da g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcn yan\u0131nda. Peki ya ard\u0131nda b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u015fu puslu k\u0131\u015f\u0131m neden h\u00e2l\u00e2 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcyor ki bana?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" M\u0130NE AKDEM\u0130R Ka\u00e7\u0131nc\u0131 kez t\u0131rmand\u0131m bu ta\u015f merdivenleri bilmem? Ne \u00e7ok h\u00fcz\u00fcnl\u00fc ad\u0131mla a\u015f\u0131n\u0131p \u00e7\u00f6km\u00fc\u015f omuzlar\u0131? Ve takiben<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1524,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n