2-<\/p>\n
Ak\u015fam\u00fcst\u00fc bulutlan\u0131r d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerim\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n T\u0131pk\u0131 k\u0131rkikindi ya\u011fmurlar\u0131 gibi\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n 39. g\u00fcn\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n G\u00fcn a\u011far\u0131rken \u00f6telerde yer yer ayd\u0131nlan\u0131p s\u00f6nen bulutlar da\u011f\u0131lmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f ve aralar\u0131ndan belli belirsiz bir k\u0131z\u0131ll\u0131k s\u0131yr\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n K\u0131z\u0131ll\u0131k, penceredeki bir telden s\u0131yr\u0131l\u0131p Safa\u2019n\u0131n yast\u0131\u011f\u0131na de\u011ferken aralam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 g\u00f6zlerini.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Bir di\u011fer diyarda iki k\u0131z\u0131l kirpi\u011fin araland\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi.<\/p>\n O diyarda, ayn\u0131 k\u0131z\u0131ll\u0131k atlar\u0131n \u00e7i\u011fnedi\u011fi otlar\u0131n ucunda uzam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 vadiye. Sonra \u00e7itlere, ard\u0131ndan \u00e7iftlik evinin \u00e7at\u0131s\u0131na ve yumurtadan yeni \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f iki b\u0131ld\u0131rc\u0131n yavrusuna…\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Elinde iki kovayla kap\u0131da belirdi Melek…\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n G\u00fcn a\u011farmadan s\u00fctleri biriktirmeliydi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n -Ne \u00e7ok ya\u011fmur ya\u011fm\u0131\u015f yine! Diye m\u0131r\u0131ldan\u0131rken. \u00c7iftli\u011fin k\u00f6pe\u011fi Cesur\u2019un yan\u0131nda belirmesiyle irkildi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n -Demek sen de uyand\u0131n! birazdan senin kahvalt\u0131n\u0131 da getirece\u011fim az bekle olur mu?<\/p>\n Cesur\u2019un a\u011fz\u0131ndan sarkan po\u015fete tak\u0131ld\u0131 Melek\u2019in g\u00f6z-<\/p>\n leri :<\/p>\n -Demek bekleyemedin. Ne yedin sen \u00f6yle?<\/p>\n \u00c7eki\u015ftirip \u00e7\u0131kartt\u0131\u011f\u0131 po\u015fet par\u00e7as\u0131n\u0131n i\u00e7indeki rulo dikkatini \u00e7ekti :<\/p>\n -Bu da ne ki ? !<\/p>\n Ruloyu a\u00e7t\u0131 …<\/p>\n tam ruloya s\u0131\u011facak<\/p>\n \u0130nce uzun bir yaz\u0131:<\/p>\n …<\/p>\n Sessizle\u015ftim bu g\u00fcnlerde\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Sensizle\u015ftim..<\/p>\n \u0130nsanlar\u0131n dertlerine g\u00fcl\u00fcp<\/p>\n bilindik tesellilerle avuttum<\/p>\n Hissizle\u015ftim bu g\u00fcnlerde<\/p>\n K\u00f6rle\u015ftim\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Yalan\u0131 dinleyip<\/p>\n Ger\u00e7e\u011fi susturdum<\/p>\n Rutinleri kab\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131p<\/p>\n Ukdeleri dondurdum.<\/p>\n Ne\u015fesizle\u015ftim bu g\u00fcnlerde\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n G\u00f6kku\u015fa\u011f\u0131n\u0131n ka\u00e7 renk oldu\u011funu unuttum\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Ho\u015fg\u00f6rd\u00fcm bu g\u00fcnlerde\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Ve bo\u015fverdim\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Ve g\u00f6\u00e7\u00fcverdim birikmi\u015flerimden<\/p>\n Hepsini \u00f6teye s\u00fcp\u00fcrd\u00fcm\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Senin varl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan habersiz\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Seninle b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fcm\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Yolda oldu\u011fundan habersiz\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Seninle y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fcm\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan habersiz\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Seninle \u00f6ld\u00fcm<\/p>\n Hi\u00e7\u2019te\u00a0 <\/span>seninleyken<\/p>\n Hep\u2019te sensizle\u015ftim…<\/p>\n …<\/p>\n Bir kez daha yava\u015f\u00e7a okudu. Her sat\u0131rda gezdirirken g\u00f6zlerini son sat\u0131rda g\u00f6zlerine bir bu\u011fu oturdu.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Herhangi bir isim yoktu\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n sonunda.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n En iyisi bo\u015fvermeliydi.\u00a0 <\/span>G\u00fcne devam etmeliydi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Hi\u00e7 bir \u015fey de\u011fi\u015fmemi\u015fti sonu\u00e7ta .\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n De\u011fi\u015fmi\u015f miydi ?<\/p>\n -Melek!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Aceleyle cebine att\u0131\u011f\u0131 rulo ile annesine yard\u0131ma gitti.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n 40.g\u00fcn\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Ko\u011fu\u015fta s\u0131radan bir g\u00fcnd\u00fc. Su \u0131s\u0131t\u0131c\u0131da menemen yapmak gibi \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcmlerle yap\u0131lan kahvalt\u0131n\u0131n ard\u0131ndan:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n -Safa senin k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck notlar bitti galiba!<\/p>\n Bu ani soruyla ranza arkada\u015f\u0131na teredd\u00fctle bakt\u0131 Safi:<\/p>\n -Bug\u00fcn 40. g\u00fcn art\u0131k azalmaya ba\u015flar bu ya\u011fmurlar. Su gideri de kurur.<\/p>\n -Adrese ula\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131na eminsin yan ! Bayram tatiliyse ge\u00e7 gider .\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n -Ge\u00e7 dalgan\u0131 tabi . Sanki sen \u00e7ok l\u00fczumlu i\u015fler yap\u0131yormu\u015f gibi!<\/p>\n -Tamam sinirlenme karde\u015f sen de olmasan kime tak\u0131laca\u011f\u0131z…<\/p>\n Dostluk kavram\u0131 ve mutlu muhabbet, \u00e7ay\u0131n bu\u011fusunda y\u00fckseliyor, so\u011fuk ama atmosferi s\u0131cak ko\u011fu\u015fun duvarlar\u0131nda yank\u0131lan\u0131yordu.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n 40. g\u00fcn\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n O g\u00fcn \u00f6\u011fleden sonra \u00c7iftli\u011fin bir ka\u00e7 y\u00fcz metre \u00f6tesindeki kuzulara bakmaya Cesur\u2018la gidiyordu Melek. Ta\u015fk\u0131n\u0131n ya\u015fand\u0131\u011f\u0131 nehrin k\u0131y\u0131s\u0131ndan ge\u00e7erken \u0130lyas amcan\u0131n kurdu\u011fu bal\u0131k a\u011f\u0131n\u0131n bir taraf\u0131 bozulmu\u015f, yata\u011f\u0131ndan ta\u015fan nehir, a\u011f\u0131 olduk\u00e7a h\u0131rpalam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Sahi ta\u015fk\u0131ndan sonra epeydir \u0130lyas Amca u\u011framam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Cesur bal\u0131k a\u011f\u0131na do\u011fru havlay\u0131p durmu\u015ftu.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Melek hadi diye \u00e7eki\u015ftirerek Cesur\u2019u s\u00fcr\u00fckledi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Eve d\u00f6nd\u00fcklerinde kap\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde bir kova vard\u0131 ve i\u00e7eriden sesler geliyordu. Ailesi biriyle konu\u015fuyordu. \u0130\u00e7eri girer girmez kasketi ve tulumuyla mutlu bir y\u00fcz seslendi:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n -Oo Melek\u00a0 <\/span>nerelerdesin k\u0131z\u0131m? Nas\u0131ls\u0131n g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmeyeli?<\/p>\n -Ho\u015fgeldin \u0130lyas Amca!<\/p>\n -Ho\u015fbulduk. A\u011f\u0131 toplamaya gelmi\u015fken size de u\u011frayay\u0131m dedim. Nas\u0131l, baya bal\u0131k gelmi\u015f mi ?<\/p>\n -Sel gelince yar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015f a\u011fla beraber bal\u0131klar\u0131n, ama sel sayesinde baya bal\u0131k da tak\u0131lm\u0131\u015f. E \u00e7er \u00e7\u00f6p de \u00e7ok tak\u0131lm\u0131\u015f tabi . Zaten \u00e7evre iyice kirlendi burada bile. Biraz temizlemeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131m \u00e7ok beceremedim kusura bakmay\u0131n. po\u015fet par\u00e7alar\u0131 m\u0131 dersiniz ne varsa tak\u0131lm\u0131\u015f. Sonra bal\u0131klar\u0131n bo\u011faz\u0131na y\u00fczgecine tak\u0131l\u0131p \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcyor onlar\u0131 da .<\/p>\n -Evet , Cesur la ge\u00e7erken g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fck.<\/p>\n -Neyse gelmi\u015fken yar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 size b\u0131rakay\u0131m dedim. Bu bize zaten \u00e7ok. Biraz\u0131n\u0131 siz al\u0131n.<\/p>\n Melek kovay\u0131 al\u0131p mutfa\u011fa gitti. Bal\u0131klardan ilkini, parlak ve k\u0131z\u0131l y\u00fczge\u00e7li olan\u0131 se\u00e7ti. Y\u00fczgecine tak\u0131lan po\u015fetleri temizlerken g\u00f6z\u00fcne bir \u015fey tak\u0131ld\u0131. Cesur\u2019un a\u011fz\u0131nda g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc gibi bir rulo. Sonra kovan\u0131n dibinde parlayan po\u015fetler… bir de\u011fil bir \u00e7ok\u00a0 <\/span>rulo!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Tam be\u015f tane sar\u0131lm\u0131\u015f po\u015fet…<\/p>\n Aceleyle att\u0131 cebine ve \u0130lyas amca gidene kadar yoklay\u0131p durdu.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Ger\u00e7ek oldu\u011funa emin olmak i\u00e7in i\u00e7inde tarifsiz bir me-<\/p>\n rakla ak\u015fam\u0131 cebindeki notlarla bekledi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n ….<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/span>-3-<\/p>\n \u201cGeceleyin parlar d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerim\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n T\u0131pk\u0131 dolunay\u0131n halesi gibi\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n -Hay\u0131rl\u0131 ak\u015famlar bize de bekleriz selametle!<\/p>\n \u0130lyas amca gidince odaya ko\u015ftu Melek.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Cebindeki rulolar\u0131 masaya sa\u00e7t\u0131\u00a0 <\/span>Hi\u00e7 vakit kaybetmeden \u00f6nce po\u015fetlerini a\u00e7t\u0131, sonra s\u0131rayla rulolar\u0131. Evet hepsi yaz\u0131l\u0131yd\u0131. Bunlar \u00e7\u00f6p de\u011fildi!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I<\/p>\n \u201cUzakta ve yak\u0131nda\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Zirvede ve dipte\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Tutmay\u0131 ye\u011fledim\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Vermek istemedi\u011fim nefesi\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Ci\u011ferimin yan\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Ci\u011ferimin kanay\u0131\u015f\u0131na de\u011fi\u015ftim\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Ve nefesimin t\u00fckendi\u011fi yerde\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Nefes almaktan vazge\u00e7tim \u201d<\/p>\n II<\/p>\n \u201cFazla alm\u0131\u015f bir \u00e7ay demini<\/p>\n G\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcn mat rengi gibi\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u015eehir b\u00eecan , \u015fehir l\u00e2mekan<\/p>\n Yine de olsan..<\/p>\n Yeniden \u00fc\u015f\u00fcd\u00fcm\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Yeniden d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm\u201d<\/p>\n III<\/p>\n \u201c\u00d6zlemek\u201d derler\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u0130ki harf fazlad\u0131r yolunda \u00f6lmekten\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Bir harf eksiktir yolunu g\u00f6zlemekten\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u0130nsan \u00f6z\u00fcnde eksik olan\u0131 \u00f6zler<\/p>\n Eksilmesin diye saklamak ister<\/p>\n Ba\u015fka bir yerde\u00a0 <\/span>\u201chasret\u201d derler\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Bildi\u011fin \u201chasar\u201dd\u0131r bu, ba\u015fka t\u00fcrl\u00fc ifade edemezler…\u201d<\/p>\n Son iki ruloyu okuyamad\u0131. \u00c7ok su ald\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan yaz\u0131lar tamamen birbirine kar\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n Ne farkeder !\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Her birinin bir \u00f6ncekinden daha g\u00fczel oldu\u011funa emindi.<\/p>\n Madem bilmedi\u011fi bir adres ve bilmedi\u011fi bir isimden kendi-<\/p>\n sine ula\u015fan bir not olmu\u015ftu. O zaman kendisi de bir sat\u0131r yazmal\u0131yd\u0131. Bu kadar iyi yazamazd\u0131 ama ne \u00f6nemli var! s\u00fcsl\u00fc c\u00fcmleler de\u011fil samimi bir sat\u0131r ekleyebilirdi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Kendi c\u00fcmlesini bir ka\u011f\u0131da yaz\u0131p, di\u011fer notlarla bir zarfa koyup masaya b\u0131rak\u0131rken ,parlak ay\u0131n nehirdeki yakamozu g\u00f6zlerinde \u0131\u015f\u0131ld\u0131yordu.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n -4-<\/p>\n \u201cHen\u00fcz ya\u015fanmam\u0131\u015f bir kaderin,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 anlam\u0131na gelmedi\u011fi gibi…\u201d<\/p>\n 41. g\u00fcn\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Bug\u00fcn de \u00e7iftli\u011fin rutin i\u015fleri t\u0131k\u0131r\u0131nda ilerliyor. Bir ka\u00e7 yeni mahsul al\u0131n\u0131yor. Hayvanlar besleniyor. Ve sabah rutininin ard\u0131ndan bir a\u011fac\u0131n alt\u0131na s\u0131v\u0131\u015fan Melek,\u00a0 <\/span>kitab\u0131n\u0131 okumaya devam ediyor.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Beyninde ise plak gibi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceler d\u00f6n\u00fcp duruyordu:<\/p>\n \u201cBu kitaptaki c\u00fcmlelerden bile g\u00fczel yazm\u0131\u015f … \u00dcnl\u00fc biri midir? !\u201d<\/p>\n \u201c\u0130yi de neden \u00fcnl\u00fcyse \u00e7\u00f6p po\u015fetine sarm\u0131\u015f?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBelki de biri sinirlenip kendisine yaz\u0131lan \u015feyleri atm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r, sel de g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr.\u201d<\/p>\n D\u00f6nen plak hi\u00e7 cevaba g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u00fcyordu sadece d\u00f6n\u00fcp duruyordu…<\/p>\n ….<\/p>\n Safa \u2018n\u0131n ko\u011fu\u015funda ise bir hareketlilik vard\u0131.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n -Bug\u00fcn mektup g\u00fcn\u00fc karde\u015f!<\/p>\n -Bana mektup hi\u00e7 gelmez biliyorsunuz dedi Safa\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n ….<\/p>\n Melek kitaplar\u0131n\u0131 a\u011fac\u0131n alt\u0131ndan toplay\u0131p eve geldi. Annesi:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n -Hah ben de seni ar\u0131yordum. \u0130lyas amcan\u0131n unuttu\u011fu mektubu bulmu\u015fsun. Verdim ben de. Ye\u011fenine g\u00f6nderiyor ya.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Melek bir an donakald\u0131 sonra odaya ko\u015ftu. Masada zarf yoktu.<\/p>\n …<\/p>\n Herkes hummal\u0131 bir heyecanla mektuplar\u0131 a\u00e7arken;<\/p>\n -Safa benim mektupta senin \u00e7\u00f6p po\u015fetli rulolar\u0131n ne i\u015fi var bu nedir , \u015faka m\u0131 yap\u0131yorsun karde\u015f! \u0130lyas amcam b\u00f6yle \u015feyler yazm\u0131yor tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131m kadar\u0131yla !<\/p>\n Safa \u015fa\u015fk\u0131n uzat\u0131lan zarf\u0131 ald\u0131, kendi notlar\u0131ndan \u00fc\u00e7\u00fc ve yan\u0131nda ba\u015fka bir k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck sayfada ba\u015fka bir elyaz\u0131s\u0131 vard\u0131.<\/p>\n Safa bu farkl\u0131 el yaz\u0131s\u0131yla yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f iki sat\u0131ra bakt\u0131… g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi.<\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Esra Dolunay 2- Ak\u015fam\u00fcst\u00fc bulutlan\u0131r d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerim\u00a0 T\u0131pk\u0131 k\u0131rkikindi ya\u011fmurlar\u0131 gibi\u201d\u00a0 39. g\u00fcn\u00a0 G\u00fcn a\u011far\u0131rken \u00f6telerde yer yer ayd\u0131nlan\u0131p<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1201,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n