G\u00fcne\u015fin ilk \u0131\u015f\u0131klar\u0131 ile yar\u0131\u015f\u0131rcas\u0131na kalkm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 o g\u00fcn. Geceyi \u00e7ok uyuyarak ge\u00e7irdi\u011fi de s\u00f6ylenemezdi zaten ama i\u00e7indeki heyecan, ona saatlerce uyunan uykunun verece\u011fi din\u00e7li\u011fi vermi\u015fti. S\u00fcrekli kendine \u201cs\u00e2kin ol\u201d telkinleri verse de bast\u0131ram\u0131yordu heyecan\u0131n\u0131. Haz\u0131rl\u0131klara ba\u015flad\u0131 hemen. Birka\u00e7 par\u00e7a k\u0131yafet, di\u015f f\u0131r\u00e7as\u0131, kitaplar\u0131 falan derken k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir \u00e7antay\u0131 doldurdu. \u00c7abuk haz\u0131rlad\u0131 bunlar\u0131, zira al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 bu aralar \u00e7antas\u0131n\u0131 al\u0131p al\u0131p \u00e7\u0131kmaya; kaplumba\u011fa misali evini s\u0131rt\u0131nda ta\u015f\u0131maya, k\u00e2h oras\u0131 k\u00e2h buras\u0131… Kap\u0131dan \u00e7\u0131karken bir nefes ald\u0131 ve \u201cher \u015fey g\u00fczel olacak\u201d diye f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131. H\u0131zl\u0131 ad\u0131mlar ile y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 yolun, do-<\/p>\n
lamba\u00e7l\u0131 sokaklardan, dik yoku\u015flardan , sert virajlardan olu\u015ftu\u011funu biliyordu olsun, olsun… Yine de bitecekti bu ba\u015flan\u0131lan yol! Cesaret toplamak i\u00e7in elini cebine g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc. G\u00fczel g\u00fcnlerden ay\u0131r\u0131p kenara koydu\u011fu bir tutam saadeti \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131 dikkatle, i\u00e7ine \u00e7eke \u00e7eke koklad\u0131. Kokulardan hat\u0131rlan\u0131rm\u0131\u015f ge\u00e7mi\u015f. \u0130tina ile cebine yerle\u015ftirdi tekrar. Otob\u00fcse binince ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 cama yaslad\u0131 hemen oturdu\u011fu koltukta. Hep yapard\u0131 bunu ama bu sefer sadece bakmaya de\u011fil, g\u00f6rmeye de niyetliydi. Hatta kulak vermeye.. Yan\u0131na ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 kitaplardan birini ald\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131. Sayfalar\u0131n\u0131n aras\u0131nda \u00e7i\u00e7ek misali kuruttu\u011fu \u201cne\u015fe\u201dyi \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131p sa\u00e7\u0131na takt\u0131. \u015eimdi biraz daha dikti omuzlar\u0131n\u0131, zira hayat b\u00f6yle daha kolay kar\u015f\u0131lan\u0131yordu. \u201cG\u00fclmesini, g\u00fcld\u00fcrmesini bileceksin bu hayatta\u201d diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc. \u201cYa\u015famak…\u201d Bu kelimeyi bir daha tekrarlad\u0131; ya\u015famak… ya\u015famak… Sonuncusunu fark\u0131nda olmadan y\u00fcksek sesle s\u00f6ylemi\u015f olacak ki, yan\u0131ndaki kad\u0131n d\u00f6n\u00fcp bakt\u0131. \u201cPardon\u201d dedi mahcup bir edayla, ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 hafif \u00f6ne e\u011ferek. \u0130\u015fte b\u00f6yle y\u00fcksek sesle, vurgulayarak, alt\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7izerek, u\u011fra\u015f verip, k\u0131ymet bilerek ; sa\u00e7taki beyaz\u0131n, y\u00fczdeki k\u0131r\u0131\u015f\u0131kl\u0131klar\u0131n, dizdeki kire\u00e7lerin hesab\u0131n\u0131 vererek, an\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 hat\u0131rlayarak dolu dolu ya\u015famak… Takvimdeki her bir g\u00fcn\u00fcn ka\u011f\u0131d\u0131n\u0131 kopart\u0131p \u201cbu g\u00fczel g\u00fcn\u00fcn an\u0131s\u0131\u201d olsun diye saklamak istercesine ya\u015famak… Yine derin sulara dalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ki, k\u0131y\u0131ya do\u011fru kula\u00e7 atmaya ba\u015flad\u0131, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc inece\u011fi dura\u011fa gelmi\u015fti. Kalbinin sesini i\u015fitiyordu kulaklar\u0131 etraftaki g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcye ra\u011fmen. Ruhu kanatlanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 adeta. Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131r\u0131p bakt\u0131 \u00f6n\u00fcnde durdu\u011fu binaya. \u201cEvim\u201d diye bir kelime \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131 iki duda\u011f\u0131n\u0131n aras\u0131ndan. O \u00f6yle bir \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ki sanki t\u00fcm kalabal\u0131k, yerde gezinen kar\u0131ncalar, havada u\u00e7u\u015fan ku\u015flar hepsi i\u015fitmi\u015fti bu sesi. K\u0131p\u0131rdamaks\u0131z\u0131n, elinde \u00e7anta, g\u00f6z\u00fcnde ya\u015f, ne kadar s\u00fcre bakakald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmiyordu evim dedi\u011fi binaya. En sonunda camlardan birindeki perde aralan\u0131p el sallay\u0131nca biri, kendine geldi. Art\u0131k sadece ruhunda de\u011fildi sanki kanatlar\u0131. U\u00e7arcas\u0131na girdi binaya. Evet.. O, binaya girmi\u015fken ne siz sorun niyeydi evden bu ayr\u0131l\u0131k ne de o anlats\u0131n. Kavu\u015fman\u0131n g\u00fczelli\u011fi kals\u0131n hepimize…\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Tesnim G\u00fcne\u015fin ilk \u0131\u015f\u0131klar\u0131 ile yar\u0131\u015f\u0131rcas\u0131na kalkm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 o g\u00fcn. Geceyi \u00e7ok uyuyarak ge\u00e7irdi\u011fi de s\u00f6ylenemezdi zaten ama i\u00e7indeki<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1174,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n